I was having dinner with my mom the other night and somehow we landed on the subject of Miley Cyrus. How, I do not know.
I told her she’s an animal rights activist and has a beagle, to which she casually replied that she’d like to invite her over for dinner sometime. Which makes a lot of sense, since Miley Cyrus tends to frequent Dover, New Hampshire.
Me: “I’m pretty sure she’s vegan, just so you know.”
Kath: “That’s fine, I’ll cook something healthy. I’ve been really good lately.”
Ughhhhhh. This sentiment drives me bonkers. “I’ve been really good (or bad) lately.”
And I’ve been hearing it a lot from friends, too. Even random people at yoga!
Bonkers, I tell you.
See what’s seemingly an innocent observation about your eating habits, is actually perpetuating a negative relationship with food and with yourself.
And we can’t help it, because this is how most of us learned to view food as something we deal with, something that’s naturally complicated, and hard to navigate. An important area of our lives in which we perform either “good” or “bad” and thus derive our self worth accordingly.
So we go through the rest of our lives trying to figure it all out and “be good”, whilst bombarded on a daily basis by billboards, commercials, and food marketing campaigns. We’re fed click bait, news segments, conflicting studies and viral Instagram posts about what the “right” diet looks like.
We attempt them all, and usually fail (because well, diets don’t work) and then say things like “I’ve been so bad lately.”
One day we’re “good” and full of energy and feeling confident. The next we’re “bad” and defeated and feeling like a failure.
It’s all black and white, and it’s a goddamn roller coaster.
We spend so much time and energy thinking about all the rules we’re supposed to follow in order to be good. Always wondering, do other people think about this?
Don’t eat carbs.
You have to eat carbs.
Eat a lot of protein.
Don’t eat meat.
Eat a big breakfast.
Don’t eat breakfast.
Always have snacks on hand.
Don’t snack at all.
Coffee is healthy.
Coffee is the devil.
Sorry, lots of ughs today.
As if the stress and exhaustion of trying to stick to the rules wasn’t enough, what we often don’t realize is that it’s also extremely taxing, physically, on the body. It’s why our weight fluctuates, our blood sugar’s all over the place, and things sometimes get really messy in the hormones department.
The reason Dana and I care so deeply about this shit is because we slogged through it ourselves. For, oh I don’t know, an eternity? And by sharing our own stories, our hope is that you understand you’re not alone if you’ve got a weird relationship with food and your body. We 100% get your pain. But, we also want you to know that it’s possible to change things.
Because it is possible to change this. It’s not easy, but it’s a whole lot easier than the pain that comes with wasting your entire life obsessing about food, strategizing how to finally get healthy and lose the weight, counting calories, or beating yourself up when you went over your points limit for the day.
The solution is creating a positive, joyful relationship to food. Being graceful with yourself. Learning that truly getting healthy happens when you start digging your life. Not waiting on the weight in order to really live it. And definitely not counting calories and logging miles on the treadmill.
So I know it’s tough, but could you catch yourself when you admit to your friends with a sigh that “you’ve been really bad lately”? Could you try to let go of some of those rules and stop thinking about them so much?
Because you’ve got way cooler stuff to think about.
Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Meet me in the comments!