Have you ever done a belly dancing dvd?
They’re ridiculous. I hate them. And who even has a DVD player anyway? But a long time ago my health coach told me to invite a friend over to do one. So I did. I wanted to get skinny you see, so I was going to do whatever she told me to do.
So I invited a friend over and we tried to do it but, we couldn’t because it was too stupid and funny and embarrassing. So we just belly laughed at each other and ate some quinoa salad and talked on the couch instead.
When she left later that night, I realized that the entire evening had gone by and I hadn’t had to force myself to stop snacking or exercise willpower to resist the cookies in the kitchen.
I hadn’t thought about food at all, which was weird, because lately it had felt like food was my mortal enemy and I simply couldn’t stop myself from eating it – even though I felt so fat and wanted so badly to lose weight.
But that night, food just wasn’t a thing.
You see what had happened was, I’d adopted the habit of literally eating my feelings, though I didn’t know it at the time. There were important pieces of my emotional life that were out of whack and I was trying to make it all feel better by obsessing over my body and what I ate because I was convinced that if I could just lose weight, everything would be better. I would feel so much better.
Like, my life kinda sucked. And I was blaming it all on my weight.
Connecting with friends in adulthood had become harder and harder since we were all busy and and working and dating and out drinking at loud bars instead of actually talking and enjoying each others’ company. I wasn’t having much luck in the dating department. And I couldn’t remember the last time I’d just relaxed with a friend and really felt like we had each others’ attention.
My routine was to sit at the job I hated all day, then force myself to the gym afterward to get skinny, then go home, shower and inhale some dinner and then it was like 8 or 9 pm and I was tired and I’d just zone out in front of the TV before going to bed. Rinse, repeat.
There was a palpable void of connection in my life.
Through this belly dancing situation though, I realized that as cheesy as this sounds, our friendship filled me up more than the pretzels and hummus ever could. I slept like a baby for the first time in a long time. I felt relaxed and content.
The next day I started to look for other ways to fill up my soul that didn’t involve food and wine.
A dance class? Journaling? Volunteering? Calling my grandma? Where else was I lacking a feeling and trying to fill the void with food? Perhaps if I filled up with good feelings I’d stop trying to eat all the bad ones?
All from the damn belly dancing dvd I never even wound up doing.
I didn’t know it at the time, but this was my first taste of the holistic weight loss method.
A powerful method that teaches you how to stop obsessing about food and your body and actually go out and enjoy your life as if you were your ideal weight already.
Because the truth is, for women, when we have a weight problem, we don’t really have a weight problem. We have a mindset problem. We have a self-care problem. We have a life problem.
Trying to address the weight through diet and exercise is useless, frustrating and damaging. Dieting, or waiting on the weight, is what caused the real problems in the first place.
We start dieting, it doesn’t work, we look and feel worse, our confidence shrivels, up and we start putting our lives on hold until we can just get a handle on the weight. This makes us sad and miserable. Life sucks big time. Food is all we have left. And then it all falls apart.
For me, this started in late middle school when my super skinny prepubescent body changed. I gained weight, people noticed, the world told me gaining weight was bad and that I should start dieting, so I did. With great success. By junior year of high school I was super skinny again. And stayed that way, with great effort and psychotic focus, until college came and I was surrounded by women with eating disorders and it all went to hell.
I spent the next decade fighting food, hating my body, and whittling away at my confidence until I barely knew who I was anymore.
It was exhausting. And so incredibly sad.
Until I found this holistic weight loss method that changed absolutely everything. It was so liberating to drop this useless struggle, and I started to see results almost immediately.
And this holistic weight loss method is what Bridget and I will be teaching in our 90-day group coaching program, Lighten Up by Wellness Lately.
We’ll be opening enrollment in the very near future.
If putting an end to your food obsession and body hate is something you’d be interested in, we’d be happy to tell you more. You can just fill out this quick application (no obligation to join in doing so). We’d love to see if you’d be a good fit. And we’d love to help you put this struggle behind you for good.