How to Change Your Negative Thoughts (And Why You Should)

How to Change Your Negative Thoughts (And Why You Should)

“We come to realize that our thoughts, more so than our circumstances, sabotage our freedom and success.”

– Brendon Burchard

My sister-in-law will be graduating from her doctoral program this summer. After ten, long, hard, expensive years, she’ll be a clinical psychologist.

She and I have spoken many times over the course of her program about life experience. She, studying human psychology and behavior in the most formal and legitimate of ways, and I, studying personal development, self-help and happiness in the most informal of ways, agree and disagree about a number of things.

There is one universal truth to all of it on which we agree though, and that is: our entire life experience happens inside of our own heads.

I’ve said this before but, I will say it again. The way we think and talk to ourselves creates our life experience. And what is beautiful about this fact is that we can control the way we think and talk to ourselves, hence, controlling our life experience.

You can decide that you are going to think positively, or you can just fall victim to your ever-changing moods, environment and circumstances.

You can decide to talk to yourself in a kind, supportive and loving way, or you can fall victim to the bitch inside your own head who tells you that you’re fat, worthless, undeserving and not good at stuff. (And we all have that voice.)

Either way, the choice is yours.

Why not choose feeling good, right? Yolo. Even if you don’t believe it’s possible yet, make the choice to give it a shot.

Here are three simple ways to start:

  1. Stop & observe and correct & re-frame
  2. No, this is good because…
  3. State an intention in the morning

Let’s take a deeper look at each step:

#1. Stop & observe and correct & reframe 

Here’s how it works: You call yourself fat. You stop. You observe that you just called yourself fat. You correct yourself, saying “No. I am not fat. I am beautiful.” (Even if you don’t believe it yet, just say it.) Then you re-frame it: “I am getting in the best shape of my life because I’m taking really good care of myself.” (Even if you don’t believe it yet, just say it.)

Seriously, it’s that easy.

You start to do this once a day, then twice a day, then all day, then all day every day, until it just becomes natural. You stop having shitty thoughts about yourself all the time. You start to actually believe that you are beautiful. Your confidence increases, you start making more and better changes in your life, taking risks, really going for it. You’re happier and achieving more than ever before. You feel fantastic. You take your top off and run around naked. You see how that works?

#2. No, this is good because…

“No this is good because….” are five words that go a long way in turning that frown upside down in most seemingly shitty situations.  Try it the next time you find yourself in an annoying situation, even if it’s just the long line at Starbucks.

Say to yourself, “No this is good because… it’s giving me a break in my hectic day to just stand here, take a deep breathe and shamelessly stalk ex-boyfriends on Instagram”… or something.

Making a habit of this will have you searching for the good in every situation. Yeah, searching for the good in every situation, like a motivational poster. You’ll love it. You’ll be one of those positive people you used to roll your eyes at, you know, the ones who share inspirational quotes on Facebook. It’s going to be awesome.

#3. State an intention in the morning 

I know, I know. Just do it, okay? So many times in life we’re cruising on auto-pilot, going through the motions, floating along with the tide. We don’t have what we want, we don’t feel the way we want to, and we don’t know why. We don’t realize that if we stopped and made a conscious intention to do things differently, it might be all we need to make massive shifts for the better.

When you get up in the morning, declare to yourself that today is a day when you try very hard to think positive thoughts. If you slip up, you’ll just use #1 above to get back on track.

Decide how you’re going to talk to yourself each morning. Ask yourself in the mirror, “You gonna be nice to me today or what!?” And then get in the shower or brush your teeth or whatever. You’ll start to live more intentionally. You’ll start to get more of what you want. You’ll start to feel good.

The bottom line is that you can control your thoughts. If you don’t think that that’s possible, it’s because you haven’t started trying yet. Try just one, for just one day, and see how it goes. Here they are again:

Three Simple Ways to Control Your Thoughts

  • Stop & observe and correct & re-frame
  • No, this is good because…
  • State an intention in the morning

Which one will you try?


Author Dana

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Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • I love #2 – No, this is good because…! I think this is a great way to turn what might be a frustrating situation into a positive one. I am really trying to see the good in every situation I find myself in and I think this will help a lot!

  • d-money says:

    Thanks for commenting, Carly! And yes, it really does work. It’s a practice to get into it but, it can be fun! I particularly enjoy giving it a shot when stuck in traffic 🙂

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